I have two adorable new relatives living out west who just turned ten months old. Uncle Maurice has tons of neat stuff planned for them, and will be working very hard to ensure that if they don’t actually become nerds that they’ll have some sort of recessive, stealth nerd traits. You have to get the mental seeds planted while they’re young, so how else better than rhyme and verse? In this case, I am encouraging my niece and nephew to look deep into the Warhammer 40K universe. As Games Workshop will tell you: In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only war.

So, I present for them the following. For those of you along for the ride, feel free to spectate at the sidelines.

A for Astartes, who fight in the stars.
B for Bionics, constructed on Mars

C for Carnifex, all chitin and slime
D for Daemonhost, enslaved for all time

E for Exosuit, for all greater good
F for Farseer, who gaze inside hoods

G for the Greenskins, but most call ’em Orks
H for Heretic, and fiendish, dark works

I for Imperium, to the galaxy’s end
J for the Judges, the Arbites’ friends

K is for Killzone, guardsmen take note
L is for Lictor, most righteously smote

M for Mytocene, a terrible child
N for Nurgle, all swollen with bile

O for Ork again, don’t question why
P for the Psykers, who most often die

Q for Questioner, the Inquisitor’s trade
R for Ravenor, who Eisenhorn made

S for Sororitas, women of battle
T for the Titans, reaving chaos like chattel

U for Ultramar, first, only and last
V for Valkyries, the air support fast

W for Waaaaaaagh, the Ork battle cry
X for the Xenos, who more often lie

Y for Yellow Suns, who’re more often red
Z for T’zeench, and really a ‘T’